MEDIATION Minute Archive





Mediation Minutes are brief videos discussing key topics for your success in negotiations.


Click on a topic you’d like to learn more about to the right.

The ABCs of Negotiation


R is for Reset the Table

What do you do if you’re in a negotiation and you realize that the right people aren’t at the table for you to get the deal you need? Then you need to reset the table. Check out this Mediation Minute video to learn how.



S is for Smart People Get BS’d the Most

If you think being intelligent is a defense against being BS’d, you need to check out this Mediation Minute video. It won’t matter how smart you are or aren’t if you don’t ask the right questions.



T is for Transparency

Trying to play a negotiation like a poker game and hide your cards is often bound for failure. Only those who understand how they are telling the World what they need and what’s important to them are prepared even to try to hide this intel from their counterpart in a negotiation. Check out this Mediation Minute video to learn how to avoid getting played!



U is for Unaccountable People BS the Most

Accountability is one of the most remarkable ways to rein in people who would otherwise BS you. Watch this Mediation Minute video to learn how to leverage accountability to your advantage in your next negotiation.



V is for Value

Negotiating without understanding the value of what you have or of what they want is like driving with no brakes – just as dangerous and likely to end up just as bad. Check out this Mediation Minute video to learn how to avoid this common and frustrating mistake.



W is for Why Not?

Sometimes the best approach in a negotiation is the direct one. I recommend asking the other side, ‘Why not accept my latest offer?’ Check out this Mediation Minute to learn how to get the answer to help you understand what they need to make a deal happen.



X is for the X-Factor of Emotions

Handling the emotions of two parties during a negotiation is already challenging, but it becomes even more complicated when multiple parties are involved. The number of emotions to manage increases significantly, and even individuals on the same side may disagree. To prevent it all from boiling over, check out this Mediation Minute for insights on managing this stew of emotions.



Y is for Yes!

I’m glad I saved this until the end because I’m going to need your trust on this one. I’m explaining why you should say Yes more in your negotiations for this Mediation Minute. Sure, you shouldn’t agree to silly terms that are bad for you, but learn how and when to say yes more, and you’ll be in better control and not feel so burnt out at the end of your negotiations.



Z is for a Zarf (a what?)

What is a Zarf, and why do you care for your negotiations? Check out this Mediation Minute, and I’ll explain everything to you – including a fancy new word for something you probably know you should be doing but may not be thinking about – enough.


A is for Alternatives

Developing and maintaining viable alternatives before and during your negotiation is essential to your being able to bargain. You don’t have a choice without an alternative, and, at that point, you’re not really negotiating at all!



B is for BATNA

Understanding your BATNA (Best Alternative to A Negotiated Agreement) is the only way to ensure that you can make a suns decision in your next negotiation. Check out this Mediation Minute to understand why.



The Five C’s

Everybody says they want to cut through the BS of their opponent’s positions. But, some industries are notoriously driven by lies we all know but simply do not say aloud. What such lies are there in your industry, and does it make sense for you to call them out in your next negotiation?



D is for Demand Proof

The easiest way to ensure that you’re not being BS’d is to demand that you’re negotiating counterparty provide evidence of their claims as to why they can’t do something or you must be the one to do something else. When a counterparty knows that they will have to prove their claims, they will begin to reign in their own BS.



E is for Embarrassing Offers

Making an embarrassingly low or high offer can put you in a stronger position in your negotiation. If you know how to, you can use it to your advantage if you’re willing to put yourself out there. Check out my latest video to learn more about how.



F is for Fake It!

Sometimes you don’t have the confidence to know that you have the better argument, and sometimes you don’t have the confidence to know that you have a better alternative available. When you find yourself in that position, do yourself a favor … and fake it.



G is for Get to the Point

Mediation may seem like a good time to discuss your case at length and get everything off your chest. But you’re there for a purpose, and you’ll do well to remember that. Check out this video to learn how to plan for such and ensure that you take the best opportunity in your next mediation.



H is for Ask, How?

In a negotiation, the questions you ask can be as important as those you don’t. Be sure you’re asking the right questions in the right way to get the answers you need to succeed in your next negotiation. Check out this video to learn more.



I is for Inching Closer to Closing

Sometimes in a negotiation, it can seem like no progress is being made and the situation is helpless. But, I maintain that there is always a reason to help and to maintain hope. And in this video, I give you three reasons you should, too.



J is for Justify what is Right and Jettison the Indefensible

You should be confident in your position when you are in the right. But, be honest with yourself and the problems in your story when you’re not. Check out this video to learn more about how to craft your message when facing such a situation.



K is for Kill Them With Kindness

Often emotions will get the best of us in a negotiation. At times, the other side can be obstinate and inconsiderate. When this happens, you can let your emotions take control and give them the power, or you can focus on your plan and kill them with kindness.



L is for Leverage

Everybody knows to try to find a way to gain leverage over a negotiation opponent. But, often, people focus more on tactical techniques than more effective paths for gaining leverage – such as using an opponent’s emotions. Check out this video to learn more about how.



M is for Manage Your Clients

Whether or not you’re an attorney, everyone has clients in a negotiation. Third parties that must be satisfied abound, from friends to family to business associates. One key issue in a negotiation can be that, too often, those who are not directly involved feel they are and insert themselves into the process. Check out this video to learn how to handle these situations.



N is for Never Say Die

Never Say Die isn’t just Ozzy’s last album with Black Sabbath; it’s also the perfect motto for a negotiation where the lack of progress cries out for creativity. Watch this Mediation Minute video and learn how to bring that creativity and get ahead in your next negotiation.



O is for Offer of Equal Value

Using multiple offers of equal value to you will help you learn what your counterpart values more in a negotiation. Check out this Mediation Minute video to learn more about how to use this technique in your next negotiation.



P is for Performance Art

A trial is all about the show that tells a story – so why should your negotiations be any different? Watch this Mediation Minute video to learn how to fool your counterpart into losing control and how to take advantage of that in your next negotiation.



Q is for Quiet Confidence

Projecting the quiet confidence that comes from having an available alternative to reaching a deal will put you in a powerful position in any negotiation. So, how do you get that advantage? Check out this Mediation Minute video to learn how.



Five Things To Do


#1 Tell Your Story

Telling a story is crucial to making your case and convincing people of your side of the story. Check out this video to learn why the key to success is misspelling it – S-U-C-C-E-S!



#2 Be Honest, Especially With Yourself

We always hear that honesty is the best policy. But why? Check out this video to learn more about why it’s important to be honest with yourself when preparing for your next negotiation.



#3 Follow YOUR Plan

Playing with a full deck is key because nothing is more useless than a deck of 51 cards. Hear more about why Yoda knows that following your plan is the only way to get ahead in your next negotiation in this episode of Mediation Minute.



#4 Remain Calm

In these seemingly chaotic times, there is power in serenity. As Rudyard Kipling wrote, “If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, … [then] yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it.” To understand how check out this episode of Mediation Minute.



#5 Use Repetition, Repeatedly

Repetition works repeatedly. Whether you’re trying to sell a car, anchor your opponent to your negotiating position, or convince us to vote for you, the Illusory Truth Effect allows you to benefit from people’s comfort with that which they know through repetition.



Five Common Mistakes

#1 Treating it like a trial

Going into mediation with an overly aggressive attitude can result in wasted time and a lost opportunity. Here are some tips for how to make the most of the opportunity.



#2 Backing Up Your Ultimatums

Letting emotion drive you to issue an ultimatum can leave you embarrassed, weakened, and at the mercy of your opponent in a negotiation. Check out this video to learn how to master the art of ultimatums and turn your opponent’s mistake into your key to control.



#3 Failing to Account for Increasing Risk

Failing to account for increased risk in a negotiation can leave you out of time and out of luck. Check out this video to learn how you can be prepared to gain the upper hand in your next negotiation.



#4 Failing to prepare

We’ve all heard the maxim that failing to plan is planning to fail. But what does that mean for a negotiation? What exactly do you need to plan? Check out my latest Mediation Minute video and find out exactly what you need to do to plan for success in your next negotiation.



#5 Starting too high or too low

Making the opening offer can put you in the driver’s seat for a negotiation. If your opponent is going to let the opportunity slip away, don’t you do it too! Watch this video to learn about what you should be doing to prepare to make an opening offer that sets the tone and, potentially, the results of the negotiation.